The high cost of graduating

Graduation rituals have gone from a bash in the school gym or a bonfire on the beach to limousines, fancy restaurants and haute couture. Why does a good time have to cost so much?

By: Devorah Stone

  In the early seventies, we celebrated our high school graduation in our student-decorated gym. I walked there. Some kids went to parties on the beach or in their friends' homes.
  Fast forward about a quarter century. My daughter is graduating this year. She will be taking a limousine to her dinner-dance in a downtown hotel. Her friends are buying dresses at boutiques and boys are renting tuxedos or having a suit made for them. The students are also planning a boat cruise and a camping trip.
 

Girls are paying $350 for a dress at the mall, while the boys can rent a tuxedo for up to $150 or buy a suit for $350+

  According to Robin Bills, a Northern California participant in a parents' online forum, "The widespread rule of thumb is that parents need to be prepared to spend at least $1,000 on 'basic' graduation stuff, including the prom. Of course, it can run much (more)!"
  Do kids need to have a gold-plated graduation to have fun? Andrea Sprague, another chat-room participant from Iowa, who graduated 15 years ago, doesn't think so.
  "I probably had a new dress," she reflects, "though it may have been that year's Easter dress. I was able to do my own hair and make-up. Graduation was at the football field. Don't recall a single limo there. A class trip or a cruise would have been nice, but I think our class managed with a picnic."
  Today's students would scoff at graduating on a football field. When it comes to saying goodbye to the old alma mater, the motto seems to be "spare no expense." As Steven Brine - a grade 12 student in my daughter's school - proclaimed, "Money doesn't matter."
 

Parents and kids should talk about family finances and, more importantly, values. Ask yourself if all this materialism really does lead to a good time.

  Indeed, from my surveys of school officials and students in suburban Vancouver, it appears that big spending is now embedded into the very concept of graduation. Strong social pressure means that even parents with limited resources wind up paying for a lot of frills.
  Let's begin with the basics - the ceremony and the reception. My informal poll of local high-school cognoscenti - including principals, administrators, and students - revealed some fairly steep initial costs, as well as some efforts to offset those expenses.
  Schools generally notify students in September of all graduating fees. While some schools do not charge for the convocation ceremony, others have a $50 fee. School-sponsored dinners and dances or banquets cost anywhere from $60 to $100. A dry (alcohol-free) graduation party can cost between $5 to $50. A few schools have dances for both parents and students, charging around $50 per person.
  Some schools will allow payment to be spread over the year, while others have fundraisers and corporate sponsors to lower the costs. Of the schools I contacted on the east and west sides of Vancouver, as well as in the suburbs, all are planning dinner-dances or banquets in hotels; this includes schools in working class and poor neighborhoods. My daughter's graduating school fees are $150.
 

"It is a special time, as well as a rite of passage, and to fit in costs money." - Catherine Cooke, graduating student

  The prices start to climb once you factor in all the options that the kids themselves want to add.
  I surveyed my daughter's friends at a middle class, multicultural suburban school to find out what they are spending on graduation. In the words of Catherine Cooke, a graduating high school student, "It is a special time, as well as a rite of passage, and to fit in costs money."
  How much money? Well, to begin with, photographs can cost as much as $300 for the deluxe package. Then there are the clothes. Both boys and girls pay around the same price for outfits. Girls are paying $350 for a dress at the mall, while the boys can rent a tuxedo for up to $150 or buy a suit for $350+. Girls are also buying necklaces, earrings and bracelets, while boys are going for cufflinks at about $50+. Both are buying shoes, spending between $60 to $80.
  Sharing the cost of a limousine can add another $80 per person. Other activities - like the boat cruise and camping trip - account for a further $100.
  Total so far: $1,030, which does not include haircuts or makeup, or a second outfit for the boat cruise. One girl confided she plans to spend $100 on alcohol. Some boys will be buying a corsage for their date - add another $30.
  Students acknowledge this is all "way too expensive" but they are unperturbed. My daughter says, "Sure it's expensive but you only graduate once."
  Funny, but this is a generation which speaks loudly against materialism, and which is likely to support (or be a part of) the protests in Seattle or Washington against global corporate rule and its brand-name, money-makes-the-world-go-round ethic.
  But this is also a generation that been subject to saturation advertising from Day One. So its not that surprising that many of the kids I talked to described themselves as anti-materialists, while at the same time confessing that they were going to drop a small fortune on graduation.
  What can be done to lower the costs of graduating? Here are some practical tips for parents and students who can't - or don't want to - keep up with the race:

• Graduating girls can have their friends or family members do their hair and makeup and make it the focus of a small party.

• Shop ahead of time. Buy at a time - say, this summer, for next fall's graduation - when the costs are lower. One girl wisely bought her dress in January.

• For the sake of the planet and common sense, forget about the limo. One mother who refuses to pay for a limousine has kindly volunteered to drive her daughter's friends to their dinner dance.

• Buy the lower-priced photograph packages and scan photographs for friends.

• Schools can help students lower the price of their grad by fundraising throughout the year. Some schools raffle off dresses and tuxedo rentals.

• Think about the long-term, not just graduation day. Remember, every time you wear an outfit the actual cost goes down. Renting a tuxedo for one day at $150 will cost you more (per occasion) than buying a $300 suit you can wear to three or four job interviews or other occasions. Before buying an outfit, ask yourself if you will ever wear it again - if the answer is no, don't buy it.

• Share. Phone up friends and relatives and ask to borrow jewelry, shoes and even an outfit. Split the cost of transportation with others.

• Lobby your school, or join the grad committee, to work towards a fun graduation that costs less.

• Parents and kids should talk about the family financial situation and, more importantly, about values. Try to examine how graduation feeds into society's materialism, and ask yourselves honestly if money really can buy a good time.

[ Front Page ]